Posts Tagged ‘reddit’


Cindy Crawford Joke

Written on March 24, 2010

This guy was stranded on a desert island with Cindy Crawford. He was cool, and he didn’t make any moves towards her for several weeks. Finally one day he asked her if maybe they could start up a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other’s needs. Cindy said she was game, and a very nice sexual relationship began. Everything was great for about 4 months. One day the guy goes to Cindy and says, “I’m having this problem… it’s kind of a guy thing, but I need to ask you a favor.” Cindy says “Okay.” The guy says “Can I borrow your eyebrow pencil?” Cindy looks at him a little funny, but says “Sure, you can borrow my eyebrow pencil.” The guy then says “Do you mind if I use the eyebrow pencil to draw a moustache on you?”. Cindy is getting a little worried, but says”Okay.” Then the guy says “Can you wear some of my clothing? I need for you to look more like a man.” Cindy is getting a little disappointed at this point, but says “Well…….I guess so.” Then the guy says to Cindy, “Do you mind if I call you Fred?” Cindy, very dejected, says “I guess you can call me Fred.” So the guy reaches out and grabs Cindy by the arms and says – “Fred — You won’t believe who I have been fucking these past 4 months!!!”



Best Big Lebowski explanation I’ve ever read.

Written on March 18, 2010

I like the Big Lebowski because like most Super Coen Bros movies there are layers of meaning throughout the story and character development. For example, a somewhat crazy but defensible theory of mine:
In Thus Spake Zarathustra, the protagonist describes the three metamorphoses of the human spirit as a metaphor for Nietzsche’s views on religion, free will, and being awesome. The camel is the first part, the part that bears the burden of life resolutely and valiantly, but who suffers for it (and doesn’t see it as suffering). This is Christianity and the burden of original sin. The second part is the lion, whose big thing is rejecting what’s imposed upon him; unlike the camel, the lion looks at the imposition of christianity and says “no!” This is Modernity and the death of god. The third part is the child, who ask questions, creates, and does whatever it wants. This is the postmodern superman/overman.

In The Big Lebowski, The Dude is the camel, Walter is the lion, and Donny is the child: The Dude tolerates (abiding) pretty much all kinds of insults and injuries, all the while solemnly accepting his lot in life and having a sense of humor about it; he doesn’t pursue anything beyond the simple pleasures of bowling, and isn’t even interested in keeping the money from the Bunny deal (all he wants is the rug).
Walter is just a prick to everyone, and wants to do things his way. He refuses to accept the world around him, which is why he aggressively opposes even one frame in a bowling match. On top of that, he’s not much of a thinker. His plans are poorly thought out, and his reasoning for everything has something to do with war.

Donny is actually described as child-like by Walter, and spends almost the entire movie asking questions. He is also one of the few genuinely happy characters in the movie. Finally, Jesus has a moment where he creepily looks at Donny and Donny freezes, and we know that Jesus is a pederast.

Now all this may be bullshit, but I’d like to point out that Ethan Coen has an academic background in philosophy. And the fact that this movie could inspire me to find parallels between Nietzsche and the films characters is pretty impressive in my opinion.



So all the CEO’s of various brewing organisations meet in a bar…

Written on March 17, 2010

After the first day of a world brewing convention in the states, the CEO’s of various brewing organisations retire to the bar.

Bruce, the CEO of Fosters, shouts to the barman: “In ‘Straiyla, we make the best beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters mate.

Bob, CEO of Budweiser calls out next: “In the States we brew the finest beer known to mankind and i make the king of them all. Gimme a Bud”.

Hans steps up next: “In Germany we invented das beer. Give me ein Becks, der real King of beers.”

Paddy, CEO of Guinness steps forward: “Barman give me a diet coke with ice and lemon please.”

The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written over their faces. Eventually Bruce asks: “Are you not going to have a Guinness Pat?”
To which Paddy replies “Well, if you pussies aren’t drinking, then neither am I”.



How many redditors are there who love reddit, but don’t know absolutely ANYTHING about programming? (self.AskReddit)

Written on March 2, 2010

benzu 61 points 1 hour ago[-]
I took a compulsory programming course in Grade 9. The language was called “Turing”. Never again. I still remember the teachers words in the first class:
“Well, what do you need to tell it BEFORE you apply the jam or peanut butter.”
“But what do you need to do BEFORE you take some out of the jar.”
“But what do you need to do BEFORE you grab the knife.”
“But what do you need to do BEFORE you initiate arm movement.”
“But what do you need to do BEFORE you create a sprite.”
“That’s right, Jimmy. You must first create the universe.”
Oh God.

hahahaha. Original post here. Rap video about web design follows. Read more >>