After spending most of my evening drinking and striking out at one of my locals, I decided it was time to hit the showers. It just wasn’t happening for me that night.

I was living with a female friend at the time. We’d never been anything other than platonic with each other– never any real flicker of chemistry between us.

Anyways, I got home and she was there with another girl I’d never met– and both of them were completely blitzed. She introduced me to the girl as I passed, but I was way too drunk to retain her name or anything she told me about her.

We decided to keep the party going, breaking out a bottle of Don Julio my roommate received as a gift. Shots turned into body shots, body shots into making out, making out into everyone getting naked.
All three of us had insane, filthy monkey sex in my living room. I mean, we really tested the limits of human eroticism that night. I remember flashes of that evening: feeding chocolate swirl pudding to my roommate off the tip of my dick, my roommate rimming me, my roommate’s friend going ass-to-mouth. It was just like we were all caught up in this weird, bohemian thing. It just kept escalating.
Anyways, we fucked our drunks off.

Afterward, we all laid awkwardly in a sweaty pile in our living room– everyone satisfied… if a little weirded-out. My roommate’s friend left an hour or so later. I turned in for the night as my roommate walked her outside.

The next morning, it all feels like some weird dream. I’m sorta dreading talking to my roommate– but she’s already up as I’m walking into the kitchen. After a few minutes of strained small talk, my roommate asks if I wanted to “talk about last night.” We both agree it was a one time thing and awkwardly laugh it off.
She puts her hand on her head and says, “I just can’t believe I did all that shit with my cousin.”

A man was walking across a field when he heard a rustling in the tall grass beside him, and turned to see the hungry eyes of a large tiger staring at him. The man began to run, fear giving him greater speed and stamina than he knew he possessed. But always, just behind him, he could hear the easy breathing of the hungry tiger. Finally, the man stopped, not because his strength had failed but because he had come to the edge of a high cliff and could go no further. “I can let the tiger eat me, or take my life in my own hands and jump.” The man turned and saw the tiger slowly walking toward him, licking its mouth in anticipation. Resolved to take his own life, the man stepped to the edge of the cliff and bent his legs to jump, when he suddenly noticed a thick vine growing out of the side of the cliff, several feet from the top. Carefully, he let himself drop down the cliff face, catching hold of the vine as he slid past, and thanked God when it was strong enough to support his weight. Hanging now, the man looked up and saw the tiger’s eyes peering over the edge of the cliff. It roared down at him, then began to pace back and forth along the top of the cliff. For the first time, the man looked at the vine that had saved his life. It was thick enough for him to wrap his legs around, resting his arms, and long enough that he might be able to let himself far enough down to jump safely to the ground below. And the moment he had this thought was the same moment that he saw the second tiger, pacing back and forth at the foot of the cliff, licking its mouth, and looking hungrily up at him. Well, thought the man, if my strength and the strength of the vine are great enough, perhaps I can outwait the tigers. Surely, they’ll go someplace else to eat when they’re hungry enough. And the man prepared to settle in for a long wait. His preparations halted quickly, however, when he heard a scurrying, scratching sound close to his own face. Glancing upwards, he saw two mice, one white and one black, emerge from a small hole in the cliff. They made their way swiftly to the base of the vine, and began to gnaw through it with their small sharp teeth. There was nothing else he could do, a tiger above, a tiger below, and the vine that kept him from their jaws about to break. The man was closing his eyes to begin his prayers, when he noticed, a little to his right, a tiny patch of red color on the face of the cliff. He reached toward it precariously, pulled, and brought his hand back beneath his eyes. There in his palm was a luscious red strawberry. The man swiftly pressed the strawberry between his lips, onto his tongue, and hanging between those still visible tigers, he enjoyed the finest, juiciest, sweetest strawberry of his life.
-Zen story of unknown origin