A first grade teacher repeatedly has trouble with one of her students. Everyday, this little boy sits in the back of the class and makes trouble and distracts the other students. She is determined to teach him and decides that the best way to keep him focused is to appeal to his interests.

One day, the teacher is giving a lesson on basic arithmetic and the little boy is goofing off in the back of the class again. She asks him to settle down and says, “I have a problem I think you might like. There are 5 birds sitting on a telephone wire. You take your BB gun and shoot one. How many birds are left?”

The boy answers, “None. Once I fire the gun, they all fly away.”

The teacher replies, “That’s not the correct answer, but it’s very clever. I like the way you think.”

The boy then says, “Oh well then I have a question for you. Three women are eating popsicles. One is sucking on hers, one is licking hers, and one is biting hers. Which one is married?”

The teacher thinks for a minute and answers, “Well I would think it’d either be the one sucking on her popsicle or the one licking her popsicle.”

The boy replies, “No, it’s the one with the wedding ring, but I like how YOU think.”

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It’s actually a very small number, you’ve probably never heard of it.

How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You don’t know! You weren’t fucking there!

How many Freudian slips does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two – one to screw it in and one to hold the penis… LADDER.. I mean LADDER.

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, but it takes 4 episodes to do it.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just Juan
(All Mexican and Black jokes are the same. Once you’ve heard Juan you’ve heard Jamal.)

How many software engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It’s a hardware problem.

How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. PETA can’t change anything.

How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The light bulb has to want to change.

Q: How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

How many Rolling Stones fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wouldn’t happen, It could be completely burned out for decades and they wouldn’t notice.

Q: How many textbook authors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: The solution to this problem is left as an exercise for the reader.

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is – why would you bother to borrow $5,000?” The blond replies…..”Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

— Isaac Asimov

http://www.webdesignish.com/best-web-design-tools-for-creating-a-complete-website.html

http://www.nosotroshq.com/

http://www.michaelstevenson.com/contemporary/exhibitions/hugo/nigeria_index2.htm

http://www.touchtrigonometry.org/

http://diveintomark.org/archives/2011/01/09/dive-into-2010

http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/7631/taxe.swf

http://chapter01.wormworldsaga.com/

http://artgerm.deviantart.com/

http://hitomimori.cleanfolio.com/

http://enterprise-js.com/

http://ushiroroq.blogspot.com/

http://erqqvg.com/vizeddit/?v=2.0

http://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/c79ie/so_how_do_people_make_websites_nowadays/

http://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/ek96p/impressive_liquid_physics_demo/

http://sortvis.org/index.html

http://www.explodingrabbit.com/games/super-mario-bros-crossover

http://www.gmarwaha.com/blog/2007/08/23/lavalamp-for-jquery-lovers/

http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/jquery-image-galleries-sliders-best-of/

http://moistroll.blogspot.com/

http://yizzle.com/whatthehex/

http://wonderfl.net/c/iNy0/fullscreen

http://www.sumopaint.com/web/

http://www.erguvanplatin.com/

http://www.volll.com/#section_main

http://www.meomi.com/critter.html

http://www.firefoxfacts.com/2009/03/24/10-popular-web-designer-tools-for-firefox/

http://digitallabz.com/blogs/70-cheat-sheet-resources-for-web-designers.html

http://hurwi.net/map/

http://www.wpdesigner.com/2007/02/19/so-you-want-to-create-wordpress-themes-huh/

http://wphacks.com/how-to-hack-wordpress-theme-template-pages/

http://interfacelift.com/wallpaper_beta/downloads/date/dual_monitors/

http://960.gs/

http://astuteo.com/slickmap/

http://spyrestudios.com/mega-collection-of-cheatsheets-for-designer-developers/#mysql

Title: Clean, handsome and charming younger guy for foxy female (27)
Description: I’ve been single for a while now and I really miss the soft touch of a woman. There’s no true substitute for the intimacy reached through sex in a long term relationship, but too long without the touch of another person makes me crazy. I’m a young, fit, sane, charming and professional guy looking for a lady to spend some quality time with. I’d like for us to meet somewhere in public (possibly for a drink, or maybe a walk), get to know each other a little, and if we feel some chemistry then go back to my place or yours for a little quality time in the bedroom. I’ll spoil you rotten and make you feel so sexy. I’ll respect any and all boundaries you set.. I just want to take the edge of some of that loneliness that sets in from being single for too long. My pic for yours.

http://justintadlock.com/archives/2007/11/07/how-to-create-tabs-using-jquery

http://digg.com/odd_stuff/How_to_Slice_a_Bagel_into_Two_Linked_Halves

http://www.noupe.com/illustrator/80-best-of-adobe-illustrator-tutorials-brushes-epss-and-resources.html

http://www.viget.com/inspire/bi-directional-actionscript-javascript-communication/

http://freethemedia.blogspot.com/2007/09/very-important-event-in-as3.html

http://www.senocular.com/pub/kirupa/as3tips_p7.html

http://www.playauditorium.com/

http://actionscriptnotes.com/blog/2008/02/06/mac-style-flash-menu/

http://manewc.com/2008/03/14/as-3-calling-javascript-functions-without-fscommand/

http://jared.simplistika.com/as3-javascript-communication/

FS command (flash talk to html, html talk to flash, flash talk to flash through javascript, html) – http://www.moock.org/webdesign/flash/fscommand/

http://www.noupe.com/photoshop/1000-free-high-resolution-photoshop-brush-sets.html

sexdrive

Sukiyaki Western Django

http://www.smashingmagazine.com/2007/08/21/creativity-spark-from-masters-of-graphic-design/

jesse joyce – joyce to the world

http://sixrevisions.com/css/css_techniques_charting_data/

http://www.blog.noponies.com/archives/category/flash-experiments

http://sixrevisions.com/graphics-design/photoshop_text_effect_tutorials/

http://as3blog.com/

http://www.actionscript.org/forums/showthread.php3?t=148110

http://sixrevisions.com/resources/cheat_sheets_for_web_designers/

“dont let school get in the way of your education” -Mark Twain “the brain is my second favorite organ” -Woody Allen “He who aims for nothing will surely find his mark”

in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of nowhere; parks his bike and walks inside. As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:
COLD BEER: $2.00
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $3.50
HAND JOB: $50.00
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole’ biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.
She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker. “Yes?” she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, “May I help you?”
The ole biker leans over the bar, “I was wondering young lady,” he whispers, “are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?”
She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs “Why yes, yes, I sure am”.
The ole’ biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, “Well, wash your hands real good, cause I want a cheeseburger”.

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.

The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the largest breasts.