The Mountain Men’s Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee

The review that made this shirt a cult classic

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that’s when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to ‘howl at the moon’ from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn’t have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn’t settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the ‘guns’), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

more from the same post.

GreenDragon78:

Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed:

Zubaz Pants
Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream (Hardcover)
How to Live with a Huge Penis: Advice, Meditations, and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much (Paperback)

…..ROFL

scecilio:

Just read the first review from the “How to live with a Huge Penis” book:

You know, life isn’t easy. I have to lug around a 25″ penis and, quite bluntly, I need some advice on how to live life. People think my right leg has a weird growth on it. My lower back is always hurting. If I get aroused, my head spins and I pass out. It’s a cornucopia of problems and people always laugh when, after being asked what the problem is, you respond with “I have a really massive wang”.

You know, it’s not always funny. It’s painful.

I thought, maybe, Richard Richard Jacob and Owen Thomas were kindred spirits in my battle against excessive genitalism. But NO — these two chuckleheads decide to make this whole book a comedy.

Now, admittedly, the humor is pretty funny here and there…but there is real pain here. You ever throw out your shoulder tossing your penis over your shoulder because you had to wear shorts? Does your massive wang cause whirlpools should you ever decide to skinny dip? You know what it’s like to not be able to make love to your wife within the same ROOM as your wife?

It’s not bloody lovely. That’s what it’s like.

It even makes work a bother. At every interview, I get asked to first, show my penis and then second, bang the receptionist. You know, I’m not a piece of meat. And all of the queries as to why I’m not doing porn get annoying. I TRIED doing porn once and accidentally smashed the camera when I was fully aroused and turned around too quickly.

…I also gave my leading lady a concussion, broke a window in the next room, and, well, impregnated 3 different women in a 5 block radius. It was a little mortifying.

People always say it’s a blessing. Well, I’m not seeing it. When you have to lug around a wang that weighs more than a full grown Great Dane, then you can talk to me.

And, no, I didn’t type this using my fingers. I CANNOT do that.

Life is so unfair sometimes.

freefalll:

Not as good as this one:
http://www.amazon.com/Denon-AKDL1-Dedicated-Link-C …

“After I took delivery of my $500 Denon AKDL1 Cat-5 uber-cable, Al Gore was mysteriously drawn to my home, where he pronounced that Global Warming had been suspended in my vicinity.

Yes, I had perfect weather: no flooding, no tornadoes, the exact amount of rain necessary, and he pronounced sea levels exactly right and that they were not going to rise within five miles of my house.

Additionally, my cars began achieving 200 mpg and I didn’t even need gasoline. I was able to put three grams of cat litter into the tank and drive forever.

What’s more, the atmosphere inside my home became 93% oxygen and virtually no carbon dioxide. In fact, I now exhale oxygen.

One heck of a cable.

Didn’t notice any improvement in audio quality though.”

Some of the reviews are even more hilarious